Progress Not Perfection

Here we are. The Madness of March has begun. We’re nearly at the quarter pole of 2018. You’re probably already asking, “Where has the time gone?” Just yesterday you seemed to be gearing up for the holidays and now it’s just about baseball season.

How are those 2018 resolutions coming? Hopefully, you’re like me and you’re on track with the goals you have set for yourself. What, you weren’t expecting me to say that? Did you think this would be another post about failed resolutions and how tough life is? Not here. Not today. I’m serious. I’m more committed to evolving and achieving my short-term goals in 2018 than I ever have been in my life. It’s all about focusing on progress not perfection.

It really is that simple. It’s not just a phrase, but a mindset to keep you focused and in a positive frame of mind. In order to help you achieve your goals and realize it is not too late to set some for yourself, I want to share with you my goal-setting process. Along the way I will reveal a few of my 2018 goals in hopes you will keep me accountable. Finally, I will show some ways for you to set realistic goals and begin to achieve them. My hope is you’ll realize it isn’t too late to begin your 2018 progress and make the most of what else 2018 has to offer.

pexels-photo-697055

Goal Setting
Goal setting. It’s never been a strong trait of mine. Sure I’ve had goals and dreams. Things I want to do or accomplish, but rarely have I ever written them down. Rarely have I ever truly held myself accountable. Rarely were there repercussions or consequences if I failed to meet them. Partly because they were flimsy goals and partly because I never really took it seriously. I wasn’t very intentional with my actions. This all changed the day I lost my job in 2015.

Since that time, I have had to take a long look in the mirror and completely change the approach to how I live my life and attack tasks. So how did I do this? Well, it didn’t happen overnight. I began to read more books on leadership, entrepreneurship and personal development. I got re-married during this time and my wife is quite possibly the most mindful person on the planet. Her guidance and influence have completely re-shaped my thinking and I must give credit to her for this process.

So what is this transformative process? We like to call it the “Resolve to Evolve” plan. Check out the link and look at the simple to use template to help you brainstorm, create and carry out your goals for the upcoming year. It’s that easy! The action plan only requires you to identify 3 steps leading up to the goal, along with a 6 month review.  Your goals should be SMART.  SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely.

2018 Goals
My goals for 2018 focus on five categories: health, career, relationships, financial and spiritual/learning. I chose these categories because these are five focus areas that tie into my core values and beliefs. The easiest way to live an intentional life, one that has true purpose, is to align your actions with your core values and beliefs.

Once you have your core values in alignment with your categories, it’s time to get specific with your goals. For me, each category then has three specific goals tied to the category. This then gives me 15 highly actionable areas to focus on this year.

Without going into tremendous detail, below are my top line goals for each category in 2018:

Health
Goal: Complete 80 workouts by 8/31
Why? Make a health and wellness a priority. Workouts need to be the norm and not the exception.

Career
Goal: Obtain more digital marketing certifications
Why? Always need to learn and remain personally marketable.

Relationships
Goal: Send one hand-written note per month
Why? Taking the extra time to write a note makes me feel good. This act nurtures relationships and can also be nice surprise for the recipient.

Financial
Goal: Pay off my last credit card
Why? Financial freedom is important to living a fulfilling life. There is no such thing as “good” debt.

Spiritual/Learning
Goal: Read eight books
Why? Reading books keeps me away from devices. You can never stop leaning and I grow and learn by reading.

Always make sure when writing down your goals to set realistic deadlines, work in a 6-month review or check-in dates to track your progress and have a “why” behind each goal. If you’re not aligning your why to these goals, you’ll lose focus on their importance and more than likely fail to meet them. Without these steps, your goals will lack direction.  And without direction, you may end up at an unknown, and unwanted destination.

pexels-photo-262488

Progress Not Perfection
This statement has resonated with me more than just about any mantra I’ve picked up in the last few years. All too often we focus on the end goal. Any impediment to that goal which slows us down, usually leads to discouragement and may possibly lead to quitting. You must celebrate your small gains and wins along the way. You’re never going to achieve your goals overnight, so you must remain hopeful and focus on progress not perfection.

For my “80 workouts by 8/31” goal, I know that I need to hit the gym 3-4 times a week to meet this challenge. I didn’t set an unrealistic goal of going every day of the week. With my schedule and my commute, that would burn me out really quickly. I also know that some weeks, it may just be one visit. While others I may go 4-5 times. Knowing that life will get in the way, but setting a realistic mark, has allowed me to focus on the progress I make.

The reality is, we’re imperfect people striving for perfection, and we have to learn to celebrate our progress. Perfection isn’t possible. But, a constant effort and a constant celebrating of our progress is possible. The more we celebrate our progress, the more progress we’re likely to make. And the psychological encouragement that comes from knowing that we are actually making progress is incredibly powerful.

I consistently strive to become the-best-version-of-myself. But being intentional in our goal setting and aligning our actions with our core values and beliefs, we can accomplish becoming a-better-version-of-yourself every day. Progress, not perfection. How do I celebrate progress? I share it with writings like this and I look to help others better themselves through goal setting.

How do you celebrate progress?

Advertisements

Be Present: Showing Up Is Half The Battle

This article was originally published by Front Office Sports.

Succeeding in your career is sometimes as easy as being present.


If there is one thing that was reinforced during my time as an adjunct professor this fall for Auburn University, it’s that being present and showing up is half the battle.

I told my students on day one that attendance would not be taken. There would be penalties for missing a certain number of classes, but I wouldn’t call roll every class.
I wanted to expose my students as close to real life as possible. Be present, show up, do your work, do it well and go home.

As I near the end of the semester, it is becoming apparent to those that may have rolled their eyes when I initially told them “showing up is half the battle,” that I was serious. A select few have inched way too close to getting penalized and are finding out that they’re behind on their final projects.

What exactly do I mean when I say “show up and be present?” I’ll paraphrase from the awesome book 5 Gears.

All too often people go through life without truly connecting. This leads to missing out on experiences and relationships that have the power to bring them great joy. By understanding how to be fully present when needed, you can improve your ability to connect with the world around you.

As we approach the end of 2017, students and professionals alike are setting goals for personal and professional success in 2018. I have placed an emphasis on showing up this semester in class. In order to succeed, personally or professionally, showing up and being present must be part of your action plan.

BE PRESENT
As someone who sets high expectations for success, I let the students know from day one that the course would consist primarily of content production. Students would gain knowledge from lectures and from the content they produced. Ultimately, they would be creating many assignments outside of class.

Assignments ranged from obtaining a variety of inbound and content marketing certificates, to blog writing, to simple graphic design projects. The final project was a WordPress responsive website featuring the content and certifications they produced.

Many of the more dense lectures were covered early in the semester. The Canvas portal was filled with resources to help answer questions outside of class. Students could begin on the website early in the semester and were encouraged not to wait until the last minute.

I say all this to emphasize the importance of being present for classes and taking advantage of the materials provided. This should be enough to pass the class. Be present, show up, listen, ask the right questions, meet the deadlines and you will receive the majority of the points for the class.

IMG_0545

THE REWARD
I lectured on “real life” instances to help the students understand how what I was saying would be applicable. I tried to lead them the way I wanted to be led when I was their age. I said many times that once they get hired in the “real world” they will be expected to show up and to provide value.

Their chances of succeeding in the ROI-driven world of marketing and public relations today will depend on whether they can bring in money/results for their company and also provide value. I asked questions like:

  • Will you be a return on investment for the company?
  • Are you bringing in numbers?
  • Does your work help attract the right personas?
  • Are you generating leads or sales?
  • Are you generating the right coverage?

It no longer matters if they’re the first one in the office as long as the work is completed on time, the numbers are sufficient and the quality of work is phenomenal. Most jobs in the industry today offer work from home or telecommuting options which allow for greater flexibility.

Be present, show up (whether in the office or not), get your work done, do it well and you’ll be rewarded in time. If you’re doing what you love and are confident in your work, it shouldn’t feel like a battle anyhow.

6F9AFBDB-BFA5-48A3-BDCB-F43997676515

ALWAYS SHOW UP
Young professionals, if you don’t believe me yet, I’ll leave you with this. One of the blogs my students are required to write is a letter to their freshman or younger self. Since my class is full of seniors, my hope was to offer a chance for them to reflect on how they’ve grown in four years.

A popular letter to a younger self floating out there on the interwebs and I’ll use it to drive this home. Here’s an excerpt from 10-time NBA All-Star and 2-time NBA Champion Ray Allen’s recent letter to his 13-yer-old self. Let me know if you notice anything.

Sometimes you’ll be afraid. Sometimes you’ll think you’re out of your league. But you’ll keep showing up every day, putting in the work. You’ll put up more than 26,000 shots in your career. Almost six out of 10 won’t even go in. I told you this game was a sonofabitch. Don’t worry, though. A successful man is built of 1,000 failures. Or in your case, 14,000 misses. You’ll win a championship in Boston.”

Being present and showing up is half the battle. So be present. Keep showing up. Good things will happen. I promise.

3 Ways to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

IMG_0533

This post was originally published for Front Office Sports.

As I’ve progressed through the ups and downs of my latest job search, I’ve often had certain feelings of doubt or said to myself, “What if people realize that I don’t know as much as they think I do?”

While I have made great strides to be more mindful and self-aware, it’s only natural that doubt can creep in when you’re going on month six without a job offer. I’ve made progress with interviews and, just last week, had four in four days (and somehow managed to survive)! But, the more you sell yourself and your skill set, the more it can feel like you may be selling something that isn’t entirely true.

I approached my wife about these feeling and she mentioned the phrase “Imposter Syndrome,” something she has read about in the past and has also experienced. I had never heard that term before but it makes perfect sense.

Coined in the 1980s, Imposter Syndrome is having the nagging fear of being “found out” as not being as smart or talented or deserving or experiences or (fill-in-the-blank) as people think.

It’s actually a quite common phenomenon and research has found that up to 70% of people have suffered from Imposter Syndrome at some point. Myself included.

It’s a solid bet that outside of super low achievers, narcissists, or someone certifiable, being susceptible to the self-doubt that feeds this syndrome is common. What matters the most, however, is knowing how to deal with and process these thoughts and fears. We can’t let them overwhelm us and prevent us from taking the actions needed to achieve our goals and aspirations.

If you’ve related to anything I’ve described so far, good for you! Imposter Syndrome is very common in high achievers. It shows that you’re not ready to settle for mediocrity. You aim high and are committed to giving your very best and being your best self while striving to attain whatever goals you have set for yourself.

That said, overcoming Imposter Syndrome requires self-awareness. A firm grasp that what you’ve achieved and what you want to achieve are impressive and attainable. You’ve given your best all along the way and that is what matters. You don’t have to be “the best” at anything or have “the best” numbers or achievements to be worthy of the accolades you’ve earned in your career.

Don’t let your fear of being “found out” take hold of you in your career. Consider these three thoughts the next time you let self-doubt creep in.

IMG_0532

Own Your Success

Don’t let the fear of being “found out” have you start attributing your successes to external factors (luck, others involved, etc.). Never minimize an accomplishment that you truly had a hand in! Own what you have done and been a part of in your career. Even if it was a collaborative effort, you were still a part of that team. I challenge you to make a list of all that you have accomplished in the last five years. Write it all down and take pride in it. I hope you will see that you deserve the successes you’ve had.

Stop Comparing

Just as I wrote in my FOMO piece, there is nothing that lets doubt creep in faster than comparing yourself to someone else. Author Iyanla Vanzant believes that “comparison is an act of violence against the self.”Comparisons are always biased and rarely helpful. All of those “highlight reels” posted on social media do nothing but reinforce Imposter Syndrome. It leads us to think that everyone else has it easier or is having a better time in their life. The reality is actually many people are struggling just like you with a unique set of challenges. When you realize that, it may also help you to realize you may be more equipped to handle your challenges than them. Stop comparing and start realizing you deserve all that has come your way.

Stay Focused on Your Goals

Imposter Syndrome can sabotage your future success on so many levels. Don’t let it into your consciousness so much that you begin to settle for less or truly believe you are inadequate. Use the tips I’ve been sharing in my blogs to help you be more self-aware and productive. Don’t play it safe or not totally sell yourself in that next job interview. Trust me, they are speaking with you for a reason and you know your accomplishments are legit. Be confident with your delivery and be humble enough to admit that you don’t know it all. Know that you’re speaking with them because you know you can provide value and you want to accomplish your goals as a part of their team.

IMG_0530

When I had that run of four interviews last week I’ll be honest, I went in to each one a bit nervous of being “found out.” However, I had the confidence and awareness to realize that if I was myself and could lay my pride and vulnerability on the line, good things would happen if they were supposed to.

It takes courage to put yourself out there and go after big goals. But, don’t let these fears of being “found out” dictate your future choices or prevent you from chasing new opportunities. You’ll truly discover how much you are capable of and how much you can truly accomplish when you know you’re putting forward your best self and are completely confident in your abilities.

Four Ways To Avoid FOMO

This blog was originally published by Front Office Sports

Fear Of Missing Out. FOMO. I know you’ve heard of it. It’s a real thing and both people and brands have trouble with it on social media. I’d be willing to bet that both of those groups fight it on a daily basis.

Social media is such a huge part of our daily lives. The latest studies show that social media captures 30% of our online time. This percentage has increased each year (not surprisingly) since sources began tracking this activity.

This ever-increasing checking of social media is leading to many cases of FOMO. Our attention is diverted from our real work and real problems by the escape of social media. I’d be willing to bet many of the posts you see on social media come from brands and marketers trying to capture your attention.

Those marketers see these statistics and know their target audiences are spending more time on social media each year. So, what better way to reach them than with social messages.

In the process of marketing on social media, brands also fall into the same FOMO traps and begin to post content that is off-message and off-brand, just so they can appear to be “hip” and “on-trend”. There’s always some made up hashtag day or celebration day on social, and god forbid a brand not try to partake.

But let’s be real, not everything on social is important (gasp!) and not everything on social needs to distract us from what really matters. So, in an effort to help level off your time spent on social media, let me present my four ways to avoid FOMO so you can become a better version of yourself.

IMG_0301

It’s all a highlight reel
I’ve spent the recent party of my career working within social and digital media and I sometimes get to the point of struggling to see what is the point of it all. I am a confessed Twitter addict (I’m working on this) and also really enjoy other platforms. But sometimes I struggle to see what’s the point of it all.

A thought that has helped me process the popularity contest that is social media is that it’s just that, mostly a popularity contest. People brag about their best bits and that’s it. And there is the belief that share and like counts quantify how exciting your life is. A recent study says almost a quarter of what you see on social media is either faked or exaggerated.

This leads to people comparing themselves to their peers and being in constant competition to get their life as good as everyone else’s. Stop this thinking. In fact, enjoy social media through the lens of knowing it’s all a highlight reel. Stop comparing. Stop judging. Everyone’s highlight reel looks awesome. Know that everyone is facing problems that aren’t “Facebook worthy” and their life is never perfect as it is depicted. Keeping this perspective can make social more enjoyable.

Less is more
This old phrase holds true for social media as well. If you want to be your best self and avoid FOMO, set goals or parameters to check and post on social media less. It may be a struggle at first. Heck, you may have to delete the icons from your phone (raise your hand if you’ve done this!). But, I’ve found this to be very therapeutic.

Two years ago when I went through some major life struggles, I gravitated away from social media instead of towards it when times got tough. I’m generally a private person and sharing my struggles on Facebook and Twitter just seemed wrong. So, I began to check and post less often. It helped me realize that I shouldn’t compare my life to everyone else’s highlight reel. It also allowed me to focus more on what mattered to me personally (formed by my own opinions and not others) and I shifted my focus to others around me.

Set a goal this month to check and post on social media less and focus on yourself and those that are important to you more. Trust me, this will simplify things in your life.

IMG_0299

Best self
Now that you have everyone else’s posts in the proper context and you’ve simplified your posting and checking, is there anything else you can do to become your best self and avoid FOMO?

Yes! Now is the time to evaluate what makes you happy and not what is appearing to make other people happy. Focus on what matters in your everyday life. What are you learning new today? Who are you reaching out to today? What are you challenging yourself with today? Did you hug your kids? Did you tell your spouse you love them? Did you pray? Did you workout? Did you stick to your new health eating plan? These are all ways to help keep you on track to being the best you and ways to make you happy.

These are also all things that are better than posting that latest selfie or one-liner on social media. Prioritizing the things that matter the most to you, and leaving social media as a small portion of your life will keep FOMO at bay.

IMG_0300

Is it worth it?
The last point is an attempt to drive home every thing I have said to this point. Is FOMO worth it? My wife has a phrase she likes to use on me when I’m contemplating a decision. She will say to me “And then what…”. Which means, what happens next? What are the consequences or outcomes of your decision? So you post that selfie on Instagram with the trending hashtag. Well, and then what? What does it do for you? Why does it matter?

So you saw people gathering at the bar and then joined in and stayed till “last call”. Well, and then what? You probably went to work hungover. Or you worse, you got to work late. Or you missed church on Sunday morning or that early morning commitment you had on Saturday.

Having FOMO and letting the highlight reels of social media suck you in can lead to unintended consequences or outcomes. Work hard to think about if your activity and posts on social media are really worth it. Just always ask “And then what…”, you’ll be surprised at how this phrase can change your decision making.

IMG_0298

I’ve struggled with FOMO my entire life. Even before social media existed, I was the person who struggled to leave a party, didn’t want to miss out on what others were doing and needed that human interaction. I also always compared what others were doing as a way to evaluate my life.

It has been a process during my adult life to change these habits and begin to focus on what is really important to me.

FOMO is hard. I get it. But, the tips above are a great way to make changes in your life. They aren’t drastic changes, but are ones that will help you take social media a little less seriously and help you prioritize the things that will help you become the best version of yourself.

 

 

 

Quick and Easy Interview Tips for Young Professionals

IMG_0240

Among the main things I learned was even if certain majors require internships, they may not always prepare students for the interview process.

This post was originally published by and written for Front Office Sports (@frntofficesport).

During my stint at a start up that happened to be located in a college town, I spent a considerable amount of time screening candidates for internships and part-time positions. As you can imagine, we had plenty of college students seek us out for openings. Most majors required students to have an internship to graduate.

Over time I came to realize that more and more students seek to acquire internships, even if its not a requirement, because it’s becoming more difficult to attain an entry level position without previous work experience.

I learned a lot about today’s college students from these interviews and from the ensuing conversations with those we chose to hire. Among the main things I learned was even if certain majors require internships, they may not always prepare students for the interview process. I can only speak to Auburn University, but it was apparent to that Liberal Arts majors had much less career support than say the students in the College of Business.

It is important to take advantage of all the career prep opportunities available to you while in undergraduate or graduate school. This is also the case once you land that first job. Always look for career development opportunities and see if your employer will help supplement the costs.

With all of that said, below I’d like to present some quick and easy interviewing tips for young professionals. There are may things to practice before that first interview, but sticking to these tenants will help ensure you’re the candidate that gets consideration.

1) If you’re “on time” you’re late – I operate by this mantra perpetually. Nothing annoys me worse than people who are late to an appointment. It tends to show that you or the reason for your appointment isn’t a priority to the other person. My “on time” is to arrive no later than five minutes before the scheduled start time. Most times I find myself arriving around 10 minutes early. You will never lose points for being punctual!

2) Always over dress – I’d like to think that if you’re going to the interview for a position that you really hope to land, you’d dress for that job. As they saying goes, dress for the job you want, not for the job you have. For guys, always wear a suit and tie. For girls, a nice blouse paired with slacks or a knee length skirt, with closed toed shoes is best. Always over dress. It’s one less thing to worry about.

3) Do your homework – It is a must that you research the company with which you are applying and interviewing. Don’t ever enter an interview unprepared. Those interviewing you will notice and notice early on. In fact, the question “Why us?” may be one of the first questions asked. You won’t get away with having a generic answer. You’ll need to have a knowledgeable answer, one that shows you’ve done your homework. Working in “when I was doing my research” or “I saw on your website” into other answers will further show how you prepared for the interview.

4) Finish your sentences – One of my biggest pet peeves during interviews is when candidates don’t finish their sentences. Instead they trail off with a “so…” I mean, come on. Practice your talking points and want you might say. Always speak in concise sentences and full thoughts. Even if you feel like you’re rambling, or not exactly sure how you’re going to answer a particular question, still make an effort to speak in complete thoughts. It is OK to ask for a moment to compose yourself or to gather your thoughts. This won’t lose you any points, but consistently trailing off at the end of your sentences will.

5) Send thank you notes – This tip is one that may not win you that job, but it sure as hell will lose it for you. ALWAYS send a thank you note following any interview. Make sure to note all the people you speak or interact with. Every individual that meets those prior two qualifiers should get a prompt email Thank You and also a handwritten thank you note. Not sending a note will definitely cost you. At both of my two previous employers, candidates who didn’t send thank you notes were never considered a serious candidate.

I don’t claim to be an HR expert, but I can say with confidence that following the tips above will give you a good chance to land your next big opportunity. Not following them can surely lose you a chance at your next big career move. So, take it from me, combine the easy steps above with your industry knowledge, tactical skill set and confidence and you will be well on your way to landing the job you want.

4 Easy Ways to Find Work-Life Balance

It is possible to make some subtle changes to your lifestyle and find the right balance that makes you function efficiently in all aspects of your life. 

This post was originally published by and written for Front Office Sports (@frntofficesport).

people-woman-coffee-meeting

Individuals working in athletics and sports business know they’re choosing a certain lifestyle making the career decision to work in sports. A lifestyle that typically includes late nights, long hours, stretches away from family and friends, low compensation, lack of healthy meals, too many meals with limited activity, and the list goes on.

Those are just some of the reasons why people get burnt out and tend to transition to other career opportunities which offer a suitable work-life balance. That phrase “work-life balance” can mean different things to different people however. It doesn’t always mean changing careers or leaving a job that you really enjoy even if you have to make personal sacrifices.

Take it from someone who used to work in athletics and made the decision to look for a more balanced opportunity a few years ago. It is possible to make some subtle changes to your lifestyle and find the right balance that makes you function efficiently in all aspects of your life.

Below are some things to consider and some resources that exist to help you find that work-life balance to help you be the best version, both personally and professionally, that you can be.

Prioritize what gives you the most satisfaction –  Prioritization is key to achieving many things in life, but especially in finding balance. Does your job need to pay a certain amount? Does it need to have no travel at all or less travel than you experience currently? Does it need to offer flexible vacation time or generous holidays? Will it allow you opportunities for career development and growth? Will the employer offer a gym membership or on-site gym access? Prioritizing what aspects are important to you and will help you feel balanced. Discuss these items with those important to you and rank them. Use this a guide to help you remain where you are, look for something better, or just to keep you in the right frame of mind throughout your career.

Build downtime into your schedule – “Busy” is such an overrated word. There I said it. We’re in a culture of busy. People always say they are busy, like it’s a badge of honor. It’s really not. To me it means you can’t prioritize your time and efforts. Therefore you’re left scrambling all the time and use “busy” as a cover. Let’s stop the culture of busy. It can be done day planning your day with periods of down time, or periods when you are doing things that aren’t worth the time and effort. Make plans around improving your health. Make plans around strengthening the relationships that matter in your life. Downtime can mean many things and building in the time will make you a better person.

Focus on the good: complain less, appreciate more  – Gratitude is a powerful thing. So is positivity. YOU have a choice each day and during each situation you encounter to face it positively. YOU also have the choice to count your blessings and be grateful for everything you have in your life. So, stop complaining and start appreciating. You’ll be amazed at how your life will change. You’ll be amazed how you can change other people’s lives. You’ll also be amazed at the opportunities that will come your way when you remain connected to those that matter with a positive and grateful attitude.

When working, get in the zone  –  This last tip applies to being the most productive worker, employee, boss or mentor you can be when working. You have to be able to multi-task when working in athletics. Actually, looking at most job posting for any advertising and marketing jobs in any field will have “multi-tasking” as a critical skill. I tend to think of multi-tasking a little differently. I think you have to be able to accomplish multiple tasks and meet multiple deadlines within a given day or week. But, you need to tackle each task with a single focus. Don’t try to handle them all at once. Set your task priorities, focus on finishing on each task without interruption and get in the zone while working on each one. This will allow you to accomplish those tasks, but not get derailed along the way. It can get tough spinning so many plates at your agency or athletic department, but setting up your day with this focus can be a game changer.

These may seem like simple tips. And you know what, they are! They’re easy ways you can transform your life. They can make you a better person and help you achieve the professional and personal life balance that so many seek to achieve. Believe me, I practice the tips above and can attest to their power.

 

Failing Your Way to Happiness

unnamedFailing Your Way to Happiness…sounds like a funny concept right? But when you think about it a little bit deeper, it kind of makes sense. I know when I really thought about what that phrase meant, it hit home for me.

I must give credit to my inspiration for this entry, Marc and Angel. I learned of this couple and their blog just recently, and they are a great source of encouragement for me.

The words fail and failure carry a negative connotation. I mean, they are defined as being unsuccessful in achieving one’s goal.

But I like to flip that notion on its head and think like Winston Churchill once said: Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.”

What I take from that quote is, it’s all about how you handle failure. You can either look at all the positives you still have in your life and move ahead in hopes of better things, or you accept the failure and pack it in.

For the better part of my 33 years, I’m positive I accepted failure as a finality. Now, through reading sites like Marc and Angel, clearing negative things out of my life, and realizing that thinking positive is an easy change, I’ve had the courage to continue in the face of failure.

I’ll be honest, my pursuit of a full-time job this spring has produced mostly rejection. Through all the rejections, I was able to stay positive and always cherished the good I had in my life. It’s through these events and actions that I think that I’ve finally “Failed My Way to Happiness.”

unnamed4

Remember, thinking positive costs nothing and changes things for the better. I’m the happiest and most confident I’ve been in my life despite all the recent rejections and what some would perceive as failures.

By facing things with a positive outlook, I’ve been able to have my “moment of clarity” and am ready to share publicly my latest happy news. It is with great excitement that I announce I have taken the newly created position of Executive Director, Client Services with Verge Pipe Media (VPM) here in Auburn.

I’ve been doing contract work for VPM and its founder Don Crow since March. Along the way Don and I realized that we had many things in common both personally and professionally. We also developed a great respect for each other and realized that together we could really take VPM to new heights.

I’ll let Don chime in here to lend his perspective…

“When I think about what makes an entrepreneur, or in this case, join me in an entrepreneurial journey, I think about Tod’s transformation over the past year. I’ve seen him grow as a true professional in many facets, including having a ‘stable’ job working remotely, going into a contract role with us, and then making the decision to join Verge Pipe Media full time on the partner track. The trait that sealed the deal for us was watching the resolve and the positive mental outlook he maintained through the journey. Once we saw that, coupled with the consistency in performance, we knew Tod had the character to make this work and ride the roller coaster that this industry demands.”

I’ll say this again, positivity is a choice. You have a choice to wake up every day and be positive. Choosing to face each day with enthusiasm and positivity has changed my whole outlook on life.

It has allowed me to stop worrying about what I can’t control. It has also allowed me to not rely on other people to define what makes me successful.

I’ll close with a passage from the great Steve Jobs. To me this is a perfect way to show how drowning out negativity and doing things for only yourself can truly allow you to Fail Your Way Into Happiness.

unnamed3

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

Routines Are Good

IMG_2004(1)I have goals to make this blog much more focused and to post more frequently. But, life keeps getting in the way these days. Even without a steady job, I find it difficult to carve the proper time to create new posts.

I told myself that to get back on this writing thing, I need to hold myself accountable and develop a content calendar for the rest of the summer.

That said, this week I will touch briefly on a point I brought up in my first blog. From there, anticipate a few new pieces each week and possibly (hopefully?) updates on my job search and career opportunities.

If you remember in my first post, I provided ideas to help you cope with difficult times. I’ve expanded on a few of those already in this space. The one I am finding most helpful these days is . . . routines are good.

I can’t say this enough, routines are good.

My newest routine, the ones that I implement daily, are writing down thoughts which are swirling in my head to un-clutter my mind and sticking with my workout plan.

Even if your routine is doing one common thing each day that you enjoy . . . Do that one thing. Then do it tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. That is all. If you do your one thing, it will make you feel good. You did it. That’s all you need to do!

You may think that one thing can’t possibly be enough to consider it “a routine,” you’d be wrong. You will be amazed at how once you’ve accomplished your one thing, you will feel like you’ve accomplished something big. Your day will feel complete. You will feel fulfilled.

Then you start to stack those “one thing” accomplishments on top of one another and, before you know it, your outlook on your circumstances is better. You’ll soon have achieved a month’s worth of “one thing” accomplishments and your attitude will have improved.

Your “one thing” could be anything, such as these examples I’ve mentioned before:
1) Working out
2) Meeting a friend for lunch
3) Writing a blog post
4) Playing with your kids
5) Writing down your ideas
6) Starting a savings fund for a vacation
7) Reaching out to “weak” contacts
8) Cooking dinner

IMG_2006

My “one thing” routine is a stabilizing force for me right now. When you hear “one thing a day,” boy does it take the pressure off your circumstances.

Routines are good, especially “one thing” routines. So, no matter what that one thing is . . . get up, get the blood moving, check things off that “to-do” list, but don’t forget to accomplish the one thing that YOU enjoy each day.

People Want To Help

IMG_1127Life is full of challenges. Regardless of the challenges we encounter in life, I’ve learned their weight and impact is lessened when we are able to connect with others who want to help. It may sound cliché, but I’ve found it to be true during my recent difficult timesPeople want to help.

Now, I promise my topics won’t all trace back to me losing my job, but this one is especially compelling to me. I also hope that some of the items I mention here will be useful to others.

Something I wasn’t sure of before I lost my job, but am now, is that people truly want to help when you are in need. While you like to believe your friends and family have the same principles as you, you’re never really quite sure. And, you always hope that you’re never in a situation where you need to rely on others or reach out for help.

But, I kept hearing over and over from friends and family in the last few weeks that they were there for me if I needed help. Many also advised me to reach out to many different groups of people, because they would want to help as well.

I know that in my adult life, from time to time, I’ve seen others struggle and felt compelled to help or reach out. It wasn’t always the easiest thing for me to do; it just felt like the right thing to do. You may not even be asking for “help” but you don’t want to seem desperate or needy.

I think the first step, the reaching out, can be the most difficult for people. People want to help or even just talk about what issues you may be facing, but they aren’t often sure how to begin the dialogue. Therefore, if you don’t initiate and seek the conversation, it may never take place.

So, I hope the following tips from someone who has been on both sides of this situation will help others as they either feel the need to seek help or hope to help others who may need it.

1) Just say anything
Have you ever received a note from someone unexpectedly and ended up being upset about it? I’m assuming rarely or never. You were just happy they contacted you in any way and it didn’t matter the context of the letter. The contact outweighs the context, so say anything! The initial contact will prompt future dialogue.

2) Be honest
The old saying goes — honesty is the best policy. That holds true when you want to reach out to someone for help or to help someone in need. Be honest and forthright when you make contact. Don’t be afraid to be upfront about what is bothering you or if you have a concern for someone else. People appreciate honesty and it will build a solid foundation for your dialogue.  

3) Don’t be afraid to ask for help
If you are in need of some help or guidance, just be honest and come out and ask for help. If you are afraid people may perceive it as needy or desperate, don’t. Friends and confidants will be flattered that you feel they can help in any way. I’ve seen first hand in the last few weeks how receptive people are when you seek their help or advice.

4) Reach out to “weak” contacts
Lastly, if you’ve reached out and made contact with your trusted confidants, but are in the position where further networking may be needed, reach out to your “weak” contacts. Those people who you’ve lost contact with or haven’t spoken to in a while. Maybe you’ve had a close relationship before and for one reason or another that contact has lessened. Trust me, they will be happy that you reached out and it will also start a fresh dialogue. It is all about the contact. Then follow what I’ve said above once you make the re-connection: be honest and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

IMG_1129
Life isn’t easy. Life throws challenges your way and those challenges usually make us stronger. Along the way, as you face these challenges, no matter how big or small, you don’t have to face them alone. Remind yourself that daily. You are not alone in this mortal coil and you are surrounded by many people who truly want to help.

-Tod