The Job Hunt Is Like Dating

This post was originally posted on Front Office Sports.

As I inch closer to to landing my next full-time job, it’s becoming more apparent every day that I’m playing the field. Yup, just like when you’re looking for the right person to date or settle down with.

Now I don’t claim to be a “player” who was playing the field that much in my personal life, but the parallels are just too striking. In both dating and job-hunting, two strangers come together, seeking to find a spark and commonalities. That rapport will then make both parties want to meet again and eventually be together for a long-term commitment.

Three steps help guide both dating and job-hunting. The first step is researching prospects and trends to find the perfect match. The second is succeeding in building interest and a connection with the other person or company. The third step is agreeing to be together, putting in the effort to fuel a long-term connection.

Sounds so easy right? Well it’s not! Knowing those basics steps will help you navigate your search, but I’m here to pull back the curtain a little further and let you in on my reasons why job-hunting is like dating.

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Nothing Moves Fast
Be prepared for a long chase. A long courting period if you will. Both finding the right employer and the right companion should take time. Not only should it take time, it will. Both of my most recent job-hunts have taken close to eight months or more. I went into this one prepared for it to take at least that long, and it has. It was close to six months before I began to get real strong leads and begin to get interviews.

There are a lot of job postings and a lot of clutter to cut through in order to get noticed and get an interview. You must remind yourself consistently that nothing moves fast. You may apply for a job and four months later you hear from HR. All companies move at different paces and each pace is slower than the next. Stay the course and pursue those leads and in time (usually a long time) the right opportunity will present itself as a result of your effort and perseverance.

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Nothing Will Be Given To You
You can follow my networking tips all you want, but it’s still up to you in the end. You have to work for what will eventually come your way. Nothing will be given to you. You may hear of the “old boy” network or maybe you’ve experienced someone get something you didn’t think they deserved because of who they knew. Well, I can tell you that a situation like that most likely won’t happen to you.

The vast majority of people have to work for all that is given to them. Never approach the job-hunt like you’re a “shoo-in” or that anything is promised to you. Work hard and put your best self forward. Don’t let that Imposter Syndrome creep in. Have confidence in your abilities, connect with others, own your successes and avoid comparing your situation to anyone else’s.

Pursue All Leads
This is the part where, for me at least, the job-hunt has been the closest to dating. You must get comfortable playing the field and pursuing all the leads that you have. In the last month I’ve had phone interviews, in-person interviews, more in-person interviews and even a job offer for a brief moment (more on this later…). You have to get comfortable in telling each suitor that they’re the one. They don’t need to know that you have a variety of suitors. That is your business. If the timing is right they will be the one. But, the timing has to be right. It’s nice to be wanted and it’s nice to have choices, but sometimes the first choice is the one you take if you have to take care of your family.

That said, don’t be afraid to keep the relationships you built intact, and continue to pursue leads even if you accepted an offer. You have to look out for yourself and what is best for you and your family. Don’t get too romantic about a job or job offer. If another opportunity comes along that can better your life, take it. Trust me, you’ll regret not playing the filed and looking to find the best opportunity out there.

The day will finally come when you’re in the right job, for the right reasons, and your contributions will be balanced by support and the opportunity to grow. Much like my marriage, you will be fully invested and eager to put time and work into the relationship. Now, if only I can find a job as “perfect” as my wife.

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Stay Optimistic
This last point may be the most important. I’ve written this many times before, but the best way to further your personal growth is through positivity and proactivity. If you aren’t doing these two things, you will be unprepared to take action when faced with adversity. You must always stay positive and remain optimistic.

YOU ultimately control your attitude each day and how you will react and handle situations. If you allow the grind of dating, I mean job-hunting, get you down then you may tell yourself it’s impossible to find “the one.” You can’t allow the long process to get you down. Use your support system, use your networking, use prayer, use whatever it takes to remain positive.

I know that I am nearing to a breakthrough in my search. Even though it has taken a long time to feel like I am close to the goal line, I have remained positive throughout the entire process. I’ve remained mindful that I’m attacking this challenge the right way. I’ve even managed to stave off Imposter Syndrome when it creeps in.

If anyone reading this wants to connect or discuss how to attack their next job-hunt, feel free to reach out in the comments, on Twitter or drop me a line. I don’t claim to be an expert, or have all the answers. But through my writing and sharing my experiences, I hope that I can help someone facing a similar situation. If I can help anyone through this process in any way, I’d be more than happy.

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